Saying that I still think the system is broken and outdated. I further tried all my best to get him back but all my effort to get him back in my life did not work out. What do I say? The State calculator yielded a "Fair child support figure of $450.00 that Bob was to pay. "Unofficial" Dads. But we all know it isnt bring used for my one and only. but going back to your point is that I think if a women who has 3 kids and receives $287 a month then any other women can make it. Child support may be established, but custody and visitation may not be. You and him and me are all getting screwed. My paprents got divorce about 5 years ago and up until 3 years ago, my mother had custody. HELL NO!! My ex left me in 2005 for a female soldier when he was in iraq and had gotten her pregnant. Someone that wants too fight NOT complain.. 215-626-2504. The only one that spends weekends with me is my youngest. Lawyers? Her mom doesnt pay me any child support, never has. She lied about his address so he was never notified of anything going on until it was done he tried to fight what she had done but him being the father they didnt care. CHILD SUPPORT MAY DETER UNWED FATHERS: There were a number of stories on this study. I havent found any groups to help with child supportall for women. But that will not stop it. Hes case is real to him just as your case is just as real to you. I went to court with all this paperwork and the judge didnt even look at anything or wanted to hear what I had to say but granted her the order for 3 years so I can not see my daughter for 3 years. You need to appeal the decision Im better, No, Im better. So please, someone tell me again how child support is unfair? We need to have a more flexible child support system in place . So if your work schedule interferes, its okay to leave the kid at Moms until it works better for you, right? It is the childs money. She abused him to the point he stopped coming home and slept in his truck. Women, we are no better, because we allow this behavior. It leads to not only frustration on their end but also a unwarranted animosity toward men. The best things you can do as a father who is seeking sole or joint custody is to remain an active part of your child's life. Each dollar of child support collected by the state the state gets in federal grant money on a 1:1 basis. For me no problem India isnt that bad yet it has only 1% divorce rates in the World. If anyone has been ordered to pay interest on their child support obligation, please feel free to ask the court or local prosecutor to recalculate the interest you are or have been ordered to pay based on this FEDERAL law. I totally agree. If they didnt want the above, they would have listened to Karen DeCrow. Then she still didnt let him. Making one family suffer so lawyers and judges can pad their pockets and the other parent can sit on their butt is criminal. We shouldnt be financially struggling just because we have been divorced with a child. Ive seen this. It took 4 years of back and forth through the courts trying to get the time-sharing custody plan in place so the child support could be reduced but she kept stalling and wouldnt provide her tax returns because she knew it would be all over for her. If guys can go around have kids all over the place without facing consequences for their actions then yeah something should be done about that. Taking care of the child, scheduling and taking off work to take them to doctors/dentists appointments, paying for the bills associated with these appointments, paying for school supplies, providing clothes and winter coats/shoes/haircuts, paying for extracurricular activities and taking them to practices and games, doing homework with the child, playing with them, engaging them and not dumping them at grandmas every second they get, etc etc, then yes, they are most likely the primary parent and children should reside with them solely. He swears I am out partying and conquering the world with the $500-600 he is forced to pay every month because I manage to have a nice car, maintain a nice home, take a yearly vacation with the boys, and have the latest electronic devices. It was still considered part of his income. She changed her number and said we wouldnt contact her and rejected all our certified letters. two people same problem one child them to me it becomes a two people payment problem not just one side. Of course she has never taken me up on it thought. RetiredIm 70. All this because the child doesnt know any better and is trusting and dependent on her. Child support guidelines are ridiculous. If he loses all his money which woman going to consider relationship with him? #ChildSupportSystemChange. She has a hundred different versions of birth control, not including adoption, AM after pill, and abortion. It is outrageous so even suggest that you shouldnt have to pay for supporting your child because your ex works hard. That is all beside the point. But now because my childs mother is bitter she goes and puts me on child support but claims it was only for insurance. I dont understand why half your check is missing, I thought you said it was 25%. Im broke she gets new boobs, car, marriage and turns both kids against me. The current child support system completely encourages monetary monopoly incentives with no equal parenting initiatives and most monetary monopolies are controlled thru corrupt gender biased woman who try to corrupt the process more and more in favor of their financial gains while enterprising the children. Simply, it's an attack on the nature of a father's freedom and how he best wishes to raise and support . And I can see when the child support check is cashed off my bank statements Each month its cashed a weekend I have my girls And the next week when I get my girls back They didnt do anything but sit on their tablets and didnt get snacks like they do with me (fruits and vegetables) but their mother does have a brand new car, The problem is no one wants to advocate for the fathers. My father is a firefighter/ paramedic and makes a fairly good income but is struggling financially because he has to pay child support to my mother even though he has custody. I take care of my daughter. When my ex physically punched me several times in the back of the head while 6 months pregnant, what police officer would believe me. Even more so for those of us who would gladly assume the role of the custodial parent with no expectation of monetary support. If the kids are younger than 12 they need a sitter or some adult model when moms at work. What if the husband doesnt want a divorce but is forced into it anyway? Dont suffer because your pride gets in the way. How Do I Get My Name Off The Mortgage After Divorce? Every one has their own story. We have a 1970s narrative about a 2010s reality, Edin said. Daycare, my foot. The only way things are going to change is if we collectively and individually make create that change! She went to my nieces house with her daughter to get away from him for a week and when she went back he kicked her out. For example if my rent is $300 dollars and my child support is $500 just between rent and child support by itself that is 9600. I was even told to stop trying to get out of your responsibility. Amen. And she used a good chunk of the money for a horse riding fetish (where was my college fund or money for school activities l)? Holy crap, the excuses here for being a deadbeat. I said he was a great dad and does everything he needed to. It was not my choice to vilified 3 talking about this. Not to mention she has a college education and substitute teaching certificate I work construction so my hours dont reflect yearly pay. This is biological. There needs to be something much more child specific. Think about it. Yes! Because hes a guy he needs to be treated badly?!? My son will be 17 this year. Best said by attorney Melanie McCulley: When a female determines she is pregnant, she has the freedom to decide if she has the maturity level to undertake the responsibilities of motherhood, if she is financially able to support a child, if she is at a place in her career to take the time to have a child, or if she has other concerns precluding her from carrying the child to term. I see it everyday. I agree about that the loss of freedom to do whatever whenever by the custodial parent. In a perfect world both parents could share custody and fulfill our rights as a good role model and loving parent but this isnt a perfect world. the child support system is flawed in so many ways. Thats hypocrisy, and insane. At the very least rebooted it is definitely getting old. 100% agree! We rarely date, go out or have me time; in fact, the children ARE our lives (that is, if the parenting is appropriate). My lawyer told me,Do not need child support any more. Now, on SSDI because could not work any more due to my stroke. However if the fathers income gets reduced , there is nothing in place to take that into consideration . Get an attorney asap. She has called CPS on me to keep me from seeing my granddaughter cause I have supervisor rights. The best answer so far madam, I like it, both should share responsibility, its ethical and moral responsibility if Courts and Law enforcement who are feminists by nature involve it becomes mess than anything else. I calmly told him why are you talking to me in a rude manner and he got pissed he told me I dont need to respect you or put up with this and hung up on me. The best interests of the children. My biological kids are so much better adjusted than my step children because of the positive relationship that their dad and I have.money has got to be taken out of the equation. He put himself there by his own bad choices he should not be rewarded by lowering his,support to almost zero. Meaning, he has to prove you are a threat to your kid. And she saved none of the child support for the childs future, including college education. Shared custody is not just whats best for the children; its what complies with a fundamental human right: the right to paretn your own children. I had a daughter with my now ex wife while in the service, she decided to divorce me on my first deployment without discussing it with me before I left. And what if that same husband had this happen to him in a previous marriage? How come judges dont give a crap? Now mind you everytime I got paid I asked her if she need money for anything. Ive payed her child support for years with checks. How come they give illegal aliens welfare but dont make them get a job, any job to pay it back?????! So let me clarify my intention for this response. You rock! So I went to school and got a job. I never thought Id be in a situation like this myself. Most jobs dont pay that. Both parents are not required to be working. Kids are not furniture. Its time to demand the following: (yes fair and equal treatment under the law). For the first few years, things were good. Paying 300, 500 per month?? Find a new man that owns a business. If some one has to pay 25k per month the mother or father (regardless of earnings) either has to allow the child to live with the wealthier parent, request less money thats within her budget, or match the amount. Sometimes, I am confued whether we (India) copied laws from India or US copied our laws. When I first met my husband, he was living with his friend, in a studio apartment, with no money to spare. Over time, more profiteers came on board, living off the conflict cause by the courts. whats amazing to me is that, we all know the system is outdated and not fair, but does ANYONE with any power do anything to try and change these really messed up laws? no becuase if they did that means that there will be less jobs, all those people whol get paid from the system would be jobless, so to hell with the middle and low income people. Was known previously as AFDC. When he figured how to game the system to avoid paying he went along and had more daughters (3 more kids with 2 different woman). Our automated calculations take into account taxes(if youre not working cash), and visitation time. What is that??!! One point that no one has raised thus far is the universal right to parent a child. But it costed me a lot of money to get proof and to go to court those 5 times, and in the end Im still paying. Rotten and broken system where the children get hurt the worst and a father is allowed to raise their step children and not their own. But because her mother is a low life Im charge 1375 a month cant even afford my expenses and will get in trouble with the state. Thats a different story. What the PC parent has to realize is when the parent-child relationship is destroyed to maintain the monopoly that is an actual legal way out of the monopoly. The courts have tried to make it standard. But if the primary parent is mom. dads. Or at least split the time. If my ex husband died tomorrow, I didnt want to set myself up to be relying on his income. From reading your comments it sounds like you are having a problem separating your feelings about your ex from your feelings about him as a father. Why is it that men in the midst of the great depression were not thrown in jail. I have never received actual child support, we each take care of what we have to, and I have zero issues financially supporting my child by working, WHILE taking care of my child in every other way. We deny men equal treatment. these facts are not my own just do your own research if you dare. I did go back to file for child support, but at this point, I know Im wasting my time. In one well-publicized case, a father in Michigan objected to child support payments when his ex-partner gave birth after knowing he did not want children. Have a physical confrontation with wife and/or children. But it is obvious the current laws need significant restructuring. Well, he gave me money for 3 months and has given nothing since then and doesnt even acknowledge that he should. I dont think I asked for much. Jade, why do so many women want to be custodial parent if its such a burden? People have no idea how many mothers also lose custody and end up paying child support they cant afford. When you find yourself in the judicial system, especially men of color, you are experiencing discrimination and institutional racism. Just splitting the bills associated with the children. All it took, was one argument, and Ive had CSS on my back ever since. I have to pay child support in the amount of money I would have spent on them while not in my custody. His salary was $2800/mo before taxes. Hes been on child support, while being a great dad, whereas my daughters father is not present, even with attempts to include him. How Can a Child Support Lawyer Help? They had to include the child support he paid as part of his income. This is killing me cause Im thinking how could she do something like that since we havent been happy together for such a long time. There was a point where I think he stopped bathing. Their work schedule; for example, if the breadwinner is on the road a lot, this can impact child custody. But I never stop paying her child support because I wouldve had to put my kids on the stand. They have lied to keep my daughter in her sons life and told her she wouldn.t be part of their life. MUCH simpler system to deal with than the politics of the North. Imagine a scenario where parents have 50/50 custody, earn equal amounts, therefore being capable of offering the child the same lifestyle at each home. 750 a month daycare? She stopped letting me get my daughter giving me every excuse in the book. Please post this on Facebook so I can like it. Im like wow. She would stay in bed til 2 pm and get up and make herself food. it is three times more deadly for a man to spend any given year supporting his children on the job than it is for the mother in that same years time to ever have a pregnancy to the birth or for the mother to have an abortion. I am not sure where you gets your facts from but half of this is garbage. The breadwinner's wishes for child custody. Ruth Graham recently wrote a feature for the Boston Globe shining a light on unfair child support payments and why the system is so flawed. she makes almost as much as meand i BEGGED to have 50/50 custodydeaf ears. I have a lot of debt, but no regrets. Also dont forget how much the attorneys are making off this gig, pitting parents against each other. It matters because its disproportionate.. She loses nothing, essentially, while the fathers salary is now roughly 20k less. When I called to try to at least ask for some of it back there was a guy and he was talking to me really rude like really rude I got mad because earlier I had spoken to 2 other people and were treating me very unfairly over the phone they didnt even give me time to explain my situation. even knowing this who youre gonna call? I managed to grow up and become successful and am now paying 6 more years of very punitive CA child support to a woman in PA who stole a sperm from me basically when I was young and stupid socially (despite book smarts) now I have a pretty daughter Ive never seen on the other side of the country. In court, they treat the dads like shit if the childs mother talks about them disparagingly. I left I did not wake them. I cant imagine living on child support, its not possible, even living low income. I am still paying arrearages from being closed down in construction and my kids are 25 and 27 on there on and Im a great farther. and low and behold im being taken to court to ALTER the child support 2 weeks later.. they want 1200$ a month for 3 kids i never get to see because of her lies and brain washing..I even have to PAY for the visitation i had 3 visits in a year. The money is for your daughters welfare, not to give you something. Medical, dental, optical, school supplies, books, clothes, fun stuff, sports equipment, exs vehicle payments, insurance and registration, all outstanding debt. When he called child support this week and essentially asked them to reconsider and/or issue a temporary license due to his situation they told him flat out that there was nothing they can do and he still owes regular payments even without having a source of income. This is such a blessing for us. Since his election in 2002, Abbott has made child support a major focus of his office and used it as a rallying cry in his 2006 re-election campaign. Any parent making that choice of money over the other does not have the childs best interest at heart and should not be the one pulling the strings. I guess I just needed to vent my frustration with the whole system. unbelievable- luckily he is back at work but the arrearage is now on his credit report which he was never made aware of. Were all the same, we deserve to be treated the same. He is so far in arrears because the state that is enforcing the order has neglected to follow through with the modification our state filed for him! I have always stood behind the fact that the state is prejudice against dads and is one of the main causes for deadbeat dads. They are now all in school, and she still refuses to get a job to help support them. So it sounds as though women should think of the possibilities before exploring their sexuality. Everyone on this bored is complaining, and rightfully so. While it depends on the judge and the circumstances, a child support payment is usually not reduced if a father quits a full-time job and returns to school. Her Honor was not happy that someone without a law degree proved her wrong. Yet the child support bill keeps racking up, I never want to leave my kids. 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